NEW YORK, NEW YORK – DECEMBER 13: Taylor Swift performs onstage during iHeartRadio’s Z100 Jingle … [+]
If you’re reading this, congratulations! You’ve made it to the end of another year—and another decade—and have inevitably slogged through some truly abominable music along the way. The end of the year is always a great time to reflect on the art that moved us, challenged us, enriched our lives in some ineffable way—but it’s also a wonderful time to dunk on the most excruciating songs that lodged themselves in our brains. I heard plenty of them myself, the worst of which deserved to be memorialized in a list. So, without further ado, I present to you my definitive, authoritative, comprehensive, scientifically backed guide to the 10 worst songs of 2019. Good luck!
The 10 worst songs of 2019
10) Hobo Johnson, “Typical Story”
Somewhere inside “Typical Story” is a fairly clever inversion of various cliche rags-to-riches stories. You’d have a hard time picking that out, though, amid the tuneless rap-rock instrumental and distorted vocals that sound like a college freshman who got stoned at his first poetry slam. I believe Hobo Johnson—born Frank Lopes Jr.—has a lot of valuable observations to offer on life. Unfortunately, on “Typical Story,” they’re so couched in grating, emo vocal affectations, bland drum loops and synthetic guitars cranked up to 11 that it’s not worth trying to decipher them.