In May 2019, Hill announced that she would be releasing a line of nude lipsticks. However, shortly after the lipsticks were released in June, the beauty blogger began receiving complaints from customers who claimed that the makeup was “expired” or “hairy”.
In photos posted to social media at the time, some of the lipsticks showed small, white hairs, while others had what appeared to be tiny black holes.
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At the time, Hill addressed the complaints on YouTube, where she refuted the claims that the lipsticks were “mouldy”, and said that the issues were actually the result of the production process.
The beauty blogger later offered refunds to customers, admitting that she was “disappointed in herself”.
In a new YouTube video, Hill has reflected on the failed launch of her company and the impact it had on her emotional and physical wellbeing.
“As you guys know last year when I launched my brand, it was a total flop and a total failure. I had a moment where it broke my heart,” she said. “I did not make one dime on that launch. I felt like an idiot. I handled the whole thing so poorly. It was just such a messy year you guys.”
Hill also discussed her recent changes in physical appearance, which she said have led to constant criticism online.
“I want to talk about last year and I want to talk about my weight,” Hill continued. “I know that my weight has been a topic of discussion for a few months now. I have put on quite a few pounds since my lipsticks launched – if we’re going to be totally honest, that’s when it started.”
According to Hill, the backlash surrounding both her physical appearance and her brand launch led her to “self-medicate” with alcohol as a way to cope with her anxiety and depression.
“At the end of the day to cope with my anxiety and my depression, I turned to alcohol and started drinking to fix what I was feeling mentally,” she revealed in the video.
Explaining that she’d never been a “heavy drinker,” she said: “This year I discovered when you have a couple of drinks your brain just kind of relaxes.”
“And so when I would start to get anxiety, I just immediately am like ‘I need a shot, I need a drink, I need a cocktail,’ I just numb it. Instead of using a Xanax, or Valium or Adavan or whatever prescription drug, I have been using alcohol to self-medicate, and that’s why my face has been so swollen,” Hill continued.
The beauty blogger concluded the video expressing her gratitude to her fans and asking anyone with anything nice to say to “please say it”.